Chapter 6 Listening and responding to others

- HOW DO LISTENING AND HEARING DIFFER?

• Hearing - physiological activity that occurs when sound waves hit functioning eardrums. It is not the only way that we receive messages. In addition to hearing, listening includes being mindful, selecting and organizing information, interpret communication, responding, receiving messages, remembering.

- WHAT DOES LISTENING PROCESS INCLUDE?

1. Being mindful - an ethical commitment to attend fully to others. We cannot be good listener without being mindful.
2. Physical receiving messages
3. Selecting and organizing communication - Don't perceive everything around us. Listeners actively define the listening situation and construct its meanings.
4. Interpreting communication - *Regard for the other person *Willing to pen ourselves to that person way of looking at the world * We always impose our meanings on others or crowd out their words with ours.
5. Responding - Expressing interest, asking questions, voicing the idea. The only way to let others know we are listening is "feedback".
6. Remembering - Selectively focusing attention.

- OBSTACLES TO EFFECTIVE LISTENING

1. Situational obstacles - * messages overload ( we needs to choose about which gets our attention) *message complexity *environment distractions
2. Internal obstacles - *preoccupation * prejudgment ( we assume we know what others feel) *Lack of effort (tired, sick) *Failure to recognize different style

- FORMS OF INEFFECTIVE LISTENING

1. Pseudolistening - pretend listening
2. Monopolizing - shift the topic to himself / herself & interrupting
3. Selective listening
4. Defensive listening - perceiving a personal attact
5. Ambushing - to attack the speaker
6. Literal listening - listen only the content level but ignore the relationship level

- GUIDELINES FOR EFFECTIVE LISTENING

*Develop skills for informational and Critical listening

• Be mindful
• Control obstacles
• Asking Questions
• Use aids to recall
• Organize the information

*Develop skills for relationship listening

• Be mindful
• Suspend judgement ( Don's add our evaluation on others experience)
• Strive to understand the other's perspective (minimal encouragers, paraphrasing, asking questions, express support)

*Develop skills for other listening goals

• listening for pleasure
• listening for discriminate