Chapter 10 Communication in personal relationship

~ Personal relationship - voluntary commitment

Features of Personal relationship

1. Uniqueness

2. Commitment:

• A decision to remain with a relationship (assume a shared future). It will grow out investment, we invest time, energy, thought , feelings in the interaction.

3. Relationship rules

• unspoken understandings between partners. (constitutive rules & regulative rules)

4. Affected by contexts

• establish norms, affect activities and expectations.

5. Relationship Dialectics

• Autonomy/connection : each of us needs an independent identity
• Novelty/predictability : too much routine is boring
• Openness/closedness : desire for privacy
• To deal with dialectics: (1) neutralization (negotiates a balance) (2) separation (3) Segmentation (4) Reframing

Six-stage model of Friendship

1. Role-limited interactions : meet a new person
2. Friendly relations : have sufficient common ground and interests
3. Moving toward friendship : to personalise a relationship
4. Nascent Friendship : increased involvement and caring
5. Stabilised friendship : assumption of continuity
6. Waning friendship : cease to be commited to their relationship

Six Stage Romantic Relationship

1. No interaction
2. Invitational communication : express interest in interacting ***Matching hypothesis(people will seek relationships with others whose values, attitudes, and lifestyles are similar)
3. Explorational communication : explore possibilities for a relationship - self disclosure
4. Intensifying communication : increasing amount and intimacy of interaction, Eg: private language
5. Revising Communication: talks about problem, strengths, potential for the future
6. Intimate bonding: to decide together permanently

Stages of relationship deterioration

1. Intrapsychic provesses : brood about problems
2. Dyadic processes : involve conflict, but majority choose to avoid the problems but communicate with the partner
3. Social support processes : signal an increase in the likelihood of breaking up ( tends to tell others about problems in the relationship)
4. Grave dressing processes : decide to part ways
5. Resurrection processes : ex-partner's moving ahead to a future without the other

Guidelines

1. Adapt Communication to manage distance
2. Ensure equity in family relationship - must balance the demands and pressures
3. Avoid intimate partner violence
4. Insist on Safer Sex